His Presence—in Times of Pain
My recent sinus surgery turned out
to be fairly routine—for the surgeon anyway! I came home with gauze strips
packed up my nose, and several instructions to follow. The toughest one was not
to bend over! Thankfully, I wasn’t in a lot of pain, just groggy from the
effects of the anesthesia.
After one week, I had a follow-up
appointment with the surgeon to have my nasal passages cleaned out. Despite
numbing spray to deaden the pain from the suctioning tool that was going to be
used, it was a painful procedure.
“No pictures!” I told Al who was
watching the whole process.
Intermittently, the surgeon would
ask, “How are you doing? Are you doing alright?” But I couldn’t answer. At one
point he joked with another doctor who was present in the room, saying, “If
this were you, you’d be crying!” Well…
Have you ever been in a situation
where you felt so much pain that you couldn’t even pray? That is how I was
feeling, when suddenly an image of Jesus came to mind. As Jesus stood in front
of me with outstretched hands, I reached out to Him. When His fingers closed
over mine, a sense of peace came over me. Everything else faded into the
background.
After it was over, the doctor
congratulated me for “doing good!” Little did he know that someone else was in
the room with us, holding my hands! After that appointment, things gradually
began to improve, and I was able to breathe through my nose once more. In fact,
breathing seemed easier with fewer obstructions to block the air flow.
That experience brought back to
mind another time after surgery when I strongly felt the Lord’s presence. During
my first years of teaching, with a steady salary and health insurance, I
thought it would be a good time to have bunions on the joints of my big toes
removed.
The Podiatrist who was doing the surgery did a
good job of explaining all that it entailed. He would have to cut through a
bone of my big toe, straighten the toe, remove the bunion and then use pins to
put everything back together. Both feet would be done at the same time.
After the surgery, I would have to
be off my feet for at least six weeks. I talked it over with my parents who
were supportive. They offered to take care of me during the summer months when
I would be wheelchair bound with a plaster cast on each foot.
I thought about all this
beforehand, wondering how much pain would be incurred. The only other surgery I
had experienced prior to that time was a tonsillectomy. Maybe the bunion
surgery would draw me closer to Jesus, by helping me better understand what He
experienced at His crucifixion. As a new Christian, the thought that pain might
bring me closer to Jesus helped me face the surgery.
Despite pain medication, the first hours
afterward were excruciating. I never knew that big toes could hurt so bad!
Throbbing pain seemed to radiate from them up to the top of my head. A round
hoop had been placed over my feet and over that a sheet. All I could do was lie
still on my back with eyes clamped shut.
Then came an awareness of the
presence of the Lord, standing at the foot of the bed. I didn’t open my eyes to
check to see if He was really there; however, a sense of calmness and peace
came over me. Was He holding my feet? That I do not remember…nor do I remember
how long He stayed.
Although there wasn’t an immediate
healing, the toes gradually mended, enabling me to enjoy many subsequent years
of walking, free of pain. Did that experience bring me closer to the Lord? Yes!
It strengthened my faith and helped me realize that He was with me, even as He
is with me now.
How thankful I am that the Lord is
with us always, through times of pain, grief, and those times in our lives when
we feel helpless, even unable to pray. He is good!
“I sought the Lord, and he answered
me; he delivered me from all my fears. Those who look to him are radiant; their
faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called and the Lord heard
him; he saved him out of all his troubles.” Psalm 34:4-6 NIV
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