“Grouchy” Doesn’t Help!

                        

Blackcap Mountain, 11,450 feet, Sierra Nevada mountains, CA

I’m finally beginning to reach the end of a sinus infection and hacking cough that seemed to drag on forever. The first week was spent confined to the house, resting, drinking hot peppermint tea, and staying close to the Kleenex box.

The second week has been spent doing much the same, except for one outing—to the doctor’s office. Following that, a regimen of antibiotics and a nasal spray was added to the daily routine. 

It was disappointing having to cancel all plans and activities for two straight weeks. Al took over the task of keeping the fridge full and the shelves stocked.  Sunday worship services were viewed online; and my only contacts with people other than Al were by cell phone or computer.

One evening in particular, I was feeling frustrated by the seeming lack of progress in getting better. It didn’t take much to irritate me, and instead of asking the Lord for help with the negative emotions, self-pity took over.

Maybe I thought that being grouchy would help me feel better…but it didn’t. I just felt guilty on top of everything else. Grouchiness got me nowhere except pulling me further down into the miry pit of discouragement and further away from the Lord.

I had landed in that pit before. On one arduous backpack that covered many miles in the Sierra Nevada mountain range, there came a point on the very last day when I didn’t think I could go any further. Everyone in the group had gone on ahead, except for Al.

My pack only grew heavier with each step even though much of the food inside had been consumed. The temptation to take it off and pitch it over the edge of the trail into the canyon below was great! I finally sat down in the middle of the trail and started to cry.

When Al stopped beside me, I poured out all of my complaints. After patiently listening, he consoled me by saying that we didn’t have much further to go before reaching the vehicle that had been parked at the trail’s end. That was enough to help me regroup, get up and finish the hike—with pack intact!

A few days after the latest grouchy episode, I was still feeling discouraged when a friend called to check up on me. She had heard about the sinus infection and just wanted to encourage me. She knew what I was going through after having had similar problems and not just one, but two sinus surgeries many years ago.

 “It takes a while to work itself out,” my friend said. 

“So how are you doing now?” I asked.

“Great!”

At the end of our conversation, I thanked her for calling.

“Your call put a smile on my face!” I said, with all sincerity. And it did!

The apostle Paul described very well the pull between the desire to give in to self with its accompanying emotions, attitudes and behaviors, and the opposite desire to trust God, releasing our worries to Him and depending on Him for help.

In Romans 7:18 (NIV), he wrote about this struggle saying, “I know that nothing good lives in me, that is in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.”

We all struggle against the desires of our sinful nature, knowing what the Lord expects of us, especially as followers of Christ. How many times do we give in to self, while being aware of a better way? Then, feeling guilty or remorseful, knowing that we not only hurt ourselves and perhaps others, but also the Lord, we finally turn to Him for help, confessing our failure.

Not to confess means severing our relationship with God, until we finally cry out as Paul did, “What a wretched man I am! Who will save me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:24-25 NIV)

How much better to live under the control of the Holy Spirit than under the control by our old nature that gravitates toward sin! In Christ there is hope; through Him there is transformation! Praise the Lord!

“He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet upon a rock. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.” (Psalm 40: 2-3 NIV)