Communication—not always easy!

   The phone rang one afternoon while I was busy doing chores around the house. Al had driven to Porterville for an appointment in the morning and was going to run some errands afterwards. When I picked up the telephone, his pleasant voice came over the line. He was standing in the vegetable aisle at the store holding the grocery list and needed some clarification on it.

   “I see you want a head of lettuce, not a bag. Well they’re all in bags,” said Al.

   Envisioning the bags of salad which come prepared ahead of time, I figured he was standing in the wrong section of the aisle. “No, I don’t want a bag. I want an individual head. You’re in the wrong place. Just move down the aisle a bit.”

   When he began reading off the names of different types of lettuce like buttery, romaine and red leaf, I realized that he was standing in the right spot after all. “Ok, get one of those. Green leaf lettuce is nice.”

   “Well, it’s in a bag,” he responded.

   “No it’s not!” My frustration was building. It shouldn’t be taking so long to pick out a head of lettuce.

   “Yes it is!”He said

   “No, it’s in a wrapper, cellophane or something like that.” I tried to be as specific as I could, but choosing exact wording is very hard for someone who is right brained.

   “Ok, it’s in a wrapper,” he agreed.

   Just to make sure, I repeated, “Anyway, I want a round head of green leaf lettuce not a bag.”

   Al, holding the head of lettuce in his hand, replied “Well it’s not round.”

   “Yes it is.” Could we really be having this discussion, I wondered?

   “No, it’s got an elongated shape.” A precise description from a left brained person!

   “Ok… just get it!” Well, I’m afraid my patience was beginning to desert me at that point.

   Al and I seem to come from the east and the west in the way we communicate. Sometimes we have to work hard to reach a common ground of understanding. He gives directions very clearly, explains thing logically and concisely, and processes information in the same way, while I am just the opposite.

   Communicating with others is not easy. Often there are misunderstandings or arguments. The temptation is to withdraw, put up a defensive wall and not talk at all or get angry and say things which are hurtful to the other person. Knowing when to talk and when to be quiet, using the right tone of voice, being tactful…so many important things factor into good communication. Then there are the thoughts and attitudes which influence what we say and how we say it…

   Our church family recently received a “One hour Tongue Challenge” from the pastor which truly was a challenge:

1)     Do not complain or grumble 2) Do not boast about anything. 3) Do not gossip or repeat anything bad about somebody else. 4) Do not run somebody down, even a little bit. 5) Do not defend or excuse yourself no matter what. 6) Do always affirm other people.

   Controlling the tongue is a hard thing to do, isn’t it? But, it’s so important! May God help us learn how to do just that through the power of His Holy Spirit. Nothing is too hard for Him!

   

   ^“All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness.  Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.” James 3:7-10 NIV