On Forgiveness

“Whoever conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.” *

Al and I have been participating in an inspiring study of “The Lord’s Prayer” during a church wide effort to help members become grounded in prayer. Even with the “new norm” of social distancing many small groups have continued to meet using online video conferencing. Weekly videos led by a panel of four pastors, along with the in-depth study of different aspects of the prayer from Matthew 6: 9-13, have generated great discussions.

During one session on verse twelve, “Forgive us our debts as we have also forgiven our debtors” (NIV), someone on the panel of pastors made the comment that God must have known we would have problems with forgiveness because the Bible has so much to say about it! Just as a valuable and beautiful gem stone has many intricate facets, so forgiveness has many different aspects. Forgiveness is mandatory for an intimate relationship with God and also with one another. It’s hard, if not impossible, for relationships to survive without it!

The verse quoted above from Proverbs 28 spoke to my heart about the need to be open and honest about our sins. Concealing them might work for a time with others, but it never works with God, who knows our hearts. Nothing escapes His notice. However, because sin is something all humankind shares in common and because of the love He has for us, “love as high as the heavens are above the earth,” He has arranged for a way for us to be reconciled to Himself.

Because of the death and resurrection of His Son, when we confess our sins to God, we can have the assurance that He has forgiven us. “As far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” (Psalm 103:11-12) “The east from the west…that’s pretty far,” commented one participant in the study. “The two never meet!”

 It’s one thing to understand that we are forgiven, but quite another to receive it and to accept His gift of grace and mercy. Another person pointed out that forgiving oneself is sometimes harder than confessing. Only with God’s help can we move on. It’s okay to ask Him!

Then there is confessing to the folks we have hurt and asking them to forgive us. Those three little words, “Please forgive me,” are so hard to utter. It takes the swallowing of pride and the desire to restore a broken relationship, even if we feel that we are only 10% wrong and the other person is responsible for 90%!  And what happens if the other person doesn’t forgive? We then have to ask God to help us let it go and not get angry all over again.

God not only expects us to confess, He also expects us to forgive. Forgiving those who hurt us is often a very painful, lengthy process. I remember seeing the pain on my dad’s face when he and mom were trying to decide whether or not to have his father come and live with us. The only other option was to put our elderly grandpa in assisted living.

When dad and his brother were young boys, there was a bitter divorce. The two kids were raised by their mom who tried to eke out a living during the depression years as a “beauty operator.” Their father was mostly absent from their lives even though he lived only a few miles away and little support was given for the family. Tough times for the three of them.

So, what to do? Dad agreed to take him in, although it was probably one of the hardest decisions he’d ever made. We had only gone to visit grandpa a few times and didn’t know him well. But because of that decision, dad told me that he was finally able to forgive his father.  Before grandpa passed away, their relationship had been restored and my dad was released from the pain he had felt for so many years.

Think of Jesus’ example, when from the cross he said, “Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34 NIV) We can never minimize the importance of forgiveness. It cost Jesus his life!

Thank you, dear Father for the gift of forgiveness you have given us in Christ. Please help us extend mercy to others. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

* Proverbs 28:13 NIV