Facing the Fear of Failure

 

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” *

             

Probably the last place in the world that Brian White ever thought he would be was in  front of a church, preaching the sermon while the pastor sat in the congregation listening. The father of five boys, including two sets of twins, Brian is also involved in the worship music every Sunday morning, singing, playing guitar and acting as music director.

One Sunday, after the praise music at the beginning of the service, Brian set aside his guitar, picked up his Bible and took the role of preacher, sharing his journey as a Christian with the congregation.! He went to church regularly with his family as a child, but when he got older, chose to stay home instead.

On his twelfth birthday, his parents gave him a guitar. He “fell in love with it.” Influenced by a popular band, he spent hours alone in his room figuring out the chords on the guitar and singing along. A high school choir concert in which his older sister participated also inspired him. Brian thought that if “normal kids” could play and sing like that, so could he.

According to Brian, “…the more I learned and the better I got, the surer I was that I was meant to do this.” But he couldn’t understand why, if God wanted him to be a musician, he wasn’t a rockstar!

Over time, he became confused and angry. While he never lost his faith in God, if someone had asked him about that relationship, he would have answered, “We’re not talking!”

There was a problem that had to be worked out though—the  fear of being on the stage performing in front of people. Although he became a member of his high school choir, he always worried about failing.

“What if I forget the words or play the wrong chord…what if my teenaged vocal cords betray me and my voice cracks? EPIC FAILURE.”

As he grew older, his fear and doubt grew into resentment, wondering why God gave him the talent in the first place, if he was so afraid to use it. In his mid-twenties and thirties, he joined “some pretty good” bands, touring Nashville and other places.  But, playing back up and singing harmonies never addressed the problem of stage fright.

 The day that Brian somewhat reluctantly attended a church service with his future wife, Julie, marked a major turning point in his life. The pastor addressed fear by saying that “being a Christian and accepting God into your life and heart can be incredibly hard and downright scary,” adding that following Jesus would mean that He is “undoubtedly going to ask you to do some things that you don’t believe you can do.”

Brian also realized that the musicians leading the worship were doing it out of love and devotion to God, not to be recognized for their talents or for the sake of performing. They had their eyes on the Lord rather than on themselves.

As he started to turn his focus back to God, the fear of failure began to fade away. He became involved in Sunday morning worship services and later took on the role of worship leader. In his own words, “Whatever it is you do, do it for God and you will never come up short. You will never have anything to fear.”

His advice? “"If you ever begin to doubt yourself; if you do ever find yourself thinking, ‘I can’t do this’…turn your focus back to Jesus. Seek the face of God.” For Brian, God first called him to let go of his fear and become a worship leader, then to preach a sermon—a guy who was afraid to take speech class in high school! “God will never fail you,” he now can say with assurance.

So, what is next? He knows that it won’t be easy, that God will ask him to do something  he doesn’t think he can do. But after finishing that sermon, he felt like the Lord was saying, “See, I told you so!”

*Jeremiah 29:11, Colossians 3:17 (NIV)